Comments

I Hate Showers More

I Hate Showers More
By Becky In Ohio

I don't think that bridal showers are getting enough hate mail on this site...so here it goes....

I HATE BRIDAL SHOWERS! I'm actually getting married in a few months, and am still being badgered for not having one (or three, which is the norm now). I think they're blatant requests for gifts (gifts going to couples that most likely already live together and have way nicer things than me).

Does any woman out there actually enjoy going to one of these (when it's not your own daughter reaping all the rewards)? They're horrible, and it's so unfair that only women get stuck with these stupid traditions (baby showers too).

I can understand a baby shower when you're having your first child, but really bridal showers are getting ridiculous. I've heard so many horror stories about the lengths parents have gone through to get gifts and money for their newlywed children, and it makes me sick.

If anything, I think bridal showers and related gifts need to be outlawed and not the wedding gifts. I think you should post an article asking for the most ridiculous bridal shower scams for money, I'm sure you'll get some good ones!

Recently a coworker showed me a card (not an invitation) that was announcing a marriage in a European country (where they were both studying abroad). It requested that money be sent to a certain bank account to pay for their honeymoon. This was about a year ago and no type of reception was ever held.

Signed,
Becky In Ohio


Note From Tom:
As per "I Hate Showers More's" request: Comment us with your most ridiculous shower or wedding gift request stories
!
[Mail to a friend]

Comments made

I agree bridal showers originated to “shower” the bride with gifts of household items for her new home now that she will be out of her parent’s home and to provide her moral support to help her prepare for her marriage. NOT for a Louis Vuitton dog bed and industrial size items for your garage. I know a couple that received all new stuff at their 3 showers and then had a garage sale to sell the old stuff to pay for their honeymoon.

My stance now is that I will not attend them (they are boring and waste time) and I will send a gift which will vary depending if they live together and have a home with everything needed to start a life together. In today’s society, people are getting married later in life and they don’t need as much help; I have also seen couples that make more money than their parents and still expect their parents to pay for the wedding and friends to fill their house with stuff that they want but do not need to begin their life as a unit.

-I was married 3 yrs ago and did not have a shower – we had a house together for a year prior and I felt we had everything we needed even though it was not the best.
08/14 11:15:41
I agree. I hate showers. I won't go to them. When I got married in 98, I was 22 - but had been living on my own for 4 years, as was my husband (now ex) and we didn't need/want any of the stuff. So we skipped it. I got a ton of flack from my girlfriends over it, all whom have now gotten married with gift registries listing Kate Spade flatware @ $20+ bucks a setting.
08/15 15:23:13
showers suck. especially if you go and dont know anyone. its like you just sit there with a fake smile for hours. even worse than that is when you are introduced to the other side of the family and either mix up their names or forget them, (which makes you look like an ass, and arouses the question of why did your spouse marry you in the first place?)
08/30 18:38:41
Yay! I'm so glad to find like-minded people! I have been avoiding showers as much as possible -- for all the same reasons. A blatant gift-grab for more stuff to weigh you down and make you a slave to silly things. But then the in-laws decided to throw a shower. I can't imagine what they think we need - we already live together. I've suggested calling it a pre-nup party and just a good excuse to get together.
09/06 00:15:41
I really feel it is the stores that have brought on this "we deserve it" attitude. They tell you when you’re registering, "even if you already have it - just register for something better". They make you feel comfortable asking your friends and family to "shower" you with crap you don't need, and just want. They tell you it's acceptable, when they're obviously exploiting you, to make money for them. You're only getting married...you didn't win the Nobel Prize. It really makes me crazy when people that have two homes, that are in the process of merging, ask their friends to give them “help” starting their new lives together. Get over yourselves - the stores are just making money off your stupidity (and ours for falling for it)!
09/07 22:22:22
Okay - this is going to sound selfish. I hate having to go and get the pages and pages long registery. I usually try to get the list first so I can find something inexpensive. So many times I am looking at a list of expensive items that I wish I could afford to buy myself but I am required to buy for the bride who make twice as much as I do. Then she opens the gift and you can tell she has no idea what it is - You registered for the spring form pan, but you don't know what it is? I know registries are to help the couple but I it would be nice if creativity counted for something. I didn't register or have a shower. People sill gave gifts. I got things that others thought were useful and they were right. :)
10/18 13:23:55
showers are very lame. i got invited to a wedding shower once, but not the wedding. good thing i didn't go to the shower.
the only thing worse than going to wedding showers is having to throw a wedding shower. the groom's mom and aunt basically took over and i sat there feeling awkward and useless.
11/15 01:44:24
Showers are no longer necessary in my opinion. People, now a days, expect you to give them money for the engagement party, the shower, the bachlorette party and then, you're some how to magicially pull more money out for their over priced wedding. I am getting married next year, and we are not having a bridal shower and I told be not to even worry about giving a gift at the wedding. We just want to have them their. I know someone who told me that I HAD TO HAVE A SHOWER. That I should take all I can now, because you only get married once. I guess no one really get's married to just be marriend, their only thinking "I hope I get that couch from Crate and Barrel".
11/30 15:37:24
I LOATHE showers. Seriously, who thinks these are fun? All women, barely any alcohol, stupid games like, "dress the bride in toilet paper" and "hey, let's make a hat out of the bows and make the bride wear it." And then watching someone else open gifts for an hour and pretending to be fascinated? I'm exhausted just thinking about it.

I am planning a wedding right now - I only mention it because every female relative I have is aghast that I refuse to have a shower. Do they actually WANT to go through that torture again?
12/01 10:31:33
I'm 22 and the first of my girlfriends to get married. All of them are somewhat pissed at me because I have no interest in a shower or some over the top bachelorette party. My roommate (who should know better after two years!) decided to throw my fiance and me a surprise engagement kegger, complete with a cake made of wedding rings, dual keg action, and sex games. Seriously? Are we not adults? When did a wedding become less about a marriage and more about other people using it as a backdrop for their own antics?
12/06 14:52:50
I got an invitation to a shower even though the bride knew I wouldn't be able to go. The invitation listed where the bride was registered. I later found out that the bride was so desperate for a wedding shower that she planned to throw it for herself, scheduling it right before the wedding so people wouldn't have the excuse of not being able to make two trips if they were out of town. I refused to attend out of principle and later found out that her mom was worried the bride would look too greedy, so she asked some of the bride's friends to "host".
12/14 21:58:03
I got an invitation to a shower even though the bride knew I wouldn't be able to go. The invitation listed where the bride was registered. I later found out that the bride was so desperate for a wedding shower that she planned to throw it for herself, scheduling it right before the wedding so people wouldn't have the excuse of not being able to make two trips if they were out of town. I refused to attend out of principle and later found out that her mom was worried the bride would look too greedy, so she asked some of the bride's friends to "host".
12/14 23:05:46
The big problem for me, being only 23, is so many people I know (my age and younger) are getting married - registering for expensive gifts which you feel obligated to buy - then of course there is the bridal shower (which often comes complete with a registry just for that) AND the potential engagement party AND the bachelorette where everyone is expected to pay for the bride. Not to mention the "money dances" these people do at the reception.
01/25 16:19:31
I don't mind helping a bride set up her house,
I do think it's ridiculous when they register for video games, music,
and restaurant gift certificates.
One shower had an attendant posted at the door with raffle tickets ($10 a pop) to help pay for the honeymoon.
These brides have a lot of nerve!
02/04 20:07:56
Wow! I just checked this for the 1st time since September; I can't believe all the responses. I'm glad to see there are more like-minded women out there. I wish everyone would take a stand and not have bridal showers. I know it’s tempting to take the easy way out and just grab up all those nice gifts, but I seriously think it’s hugely unnecessary. Kudos to the above that didn’t give in to the stupid tradition as well! We need to start making people (mostly the undeserving women in their upper 20’s – lower 30’s, already owning homes or having high paying jobs) feel stupid for having these anymore. I still haven’t gotten a response stating “I love going to showers”; so why do we keep allowing brides to subject us (their so called friends) to them?
I love going to my friends houses and seeing all their nice new things, giving them compliments, and then getting that all too common “oh thanks, it was from the wedding”. Half the time they don’t even remember who gave it to them. Just because it’s called a bridal shower, doesn’t mean it’s a free pass to be rude and selfish. I think bridal showers would be kind of okay if they weren’t based around getting the average $50 gift from each attendee. Also, to Kathleen that posted Oct. 18th; I don’t think you’re being selfish at all, you’re a realist. If people want to have showers they should throw them in hopes of getting some useful gifts or even for a recipe trade/marriage stories and advice or so on. Why all the greed??? People really are forgetting what the wedding day is supposed to be about. You don’t need a house full of new things to start a life together.

Great responses everyone!

I'm still getting a kick out of this site - I think it's hilarious!
02/06 14:18:30
Oh my gosh, the awkwardness, the stuffiness - as someone above mentioned, the combination of ALL WOMEN and NO ALCHOHOL is enough to throw me into a deep depression. Can't people be cool about this already? I thought getting married was supposed to be about LOVE - I wish everyone would just elope already and stop inflicting misery on everyone else b/c they found a wife/husband. No one really cares, anyway!
09/01 01:18:28
I need a good excuse to get out of going to my husband's sister-in-laws bridal shower. She's on top of her game and will no doubt, double check on me to catch me in a lie (very competitive woman) Does anybody have any good ideas? We live in the same town.
09/07 10:20:50
Haha showers are almost worse than weddings. But not quite. Are eldery aunts really entertained by watching stupid house hold gifts get opened? "I CAN'T SEE IT, HOLD IT UP HIGHER!!!!" Does the poor groom really want to sit in a room filled with 25 women all gawking at him and teasing him if the bride opens underwear as a gift? "OHHH HEHEHE Brian must loooove that gift"

Single people deserve crap from Crate and Barrel just as much as people who get married. And what's with inviting like 50 people to a shower? Do you really invite every single female that you invite to the wedding? NOOOO it's frikin rude and people only do it so they can get more gifts. Showers should be fun events with 5 to 25 people who can relax and enjoy eachother. I really don't want to get stuck talking to my friends crazy relatives. I have enough of my own to deal with. At least at wedding you usually get seated near people whom you've at least met.
03/05 21:29:12
Uggh. This is why I so greatly appreciate that "Sex and the City" episode. (If you're an avid watcher, you know what I'm talking about.) I loathe, detest, and hate bridal/baby showers with a burning and fiery passion. They are your life choices, why should I have to buy you a gift for them?! Why don't you buy ME a gift for choosing to be single?? Screw bridal showers!
08/18 21:55:27
I agree with you totally. What makes me really angry is my husband's side of the family. He has a huge family with relatives we never see and hardly even know, especially some of his cousins and their kids. Then when one of them gets married or has a baby we get shower invitations. ARRRRRRGH!!!! It ticks me off. It's nothing but a blatant request for a gift from a bunch of greedy people who could care less about us or if they even know us. The last 3 invitations we received from his cousins I threw in the trash can and ignored them.

I don't believe in showers period, baby showers or wedding showers. If someone wants to give something out of the goodness of their heart they will, so why make others feel obligated to give.
08/23 16:05:31
What gets me is all the free-loading relatives you hardly know and never see sending baby shower and wedding invitations. My husband has about 100 cousins (exaggerating a bit, LOL) that we never see. But, when one of them gets married or has a baby, yep, BINGO! We get invitations. I have started throwing them in the trash. It's nothing but a blatant request for a gift and to send them to people you hardly know is ridiculous even if it is family.
08/23 17:09:18
I'm single, but you know what, I've already told my mother that if she or anyone else should give me a wedding shower; I'm turning the other way out the door and getting in my car to go elsewhere.

I HATED, HATED, HATED my friends shower. I basically had to fraterize with a bunch of people in the grooms family that I wouldn't see until the wedding and even after that I wouldn't give a flying fig if I ever saw them again. It was boring!!! There was no booze (I seriously need a drink during this fiasco) since the bride was preggers and I was stuck getting yelled out by her soon to be sister in law because I didn't "pull my weight." Whatever bitch-I'm in college and have to pull my weight with school work while getting my degree. And NO I don't want fucking kids, what made you think that I actually did.

I can't believe my so called friend, the Bride did not defend me. Thankfully I put all those pathetic idiots in the grooms family to shame when they pestered me throughout the whole ordeal. Pathetic! And this is the family my friend was marrying into??? My family wouldn't pull this kid of shit on anyone. Gawd awful!

Now you see why I have absolutely no desire to

a) have a big wedding
b) have a shower
c) have any bridesmaids
d) hell I won't even wear white
e) Get the rabbi and then go to the courthouse. Call you in a couple of months for the party. Later folks!
09/17 04:43:21
I'm a Brit..we don't have them! YAY!!!!
Love this site...
11/10 20:11:24
I have been a bridesmaid 3 times and I HATE it! All 3 girls have registered for expensive gifts that I am then expected to buy something from. I was also expected to chip in money to buy either food, decorations, cakes, are a mix of all 3. All 3 of those friends have moved to the USA after marriage. However, I am getting married this summer. I dont want to have a bridal shower, I just want to invite my friends to my house, I will provide dinner and drinks, I will tell them it's NOT a bridal shower and to not buy me any gifts as their presence would be the best gift. However, for those 3 friends who I have spent a fortune on for their weddings and showers, I want to sent them a invitation with information for a online registry to see the favour returned (as they probably won't be flying down for the shower). Is this mean? I am still so angry about how selfish these brides were and feel I deserve something from all 3 of them:(
11/27 21:25:06
I have been a bridesmaid 3 times and I HATE it! All 3 girls have registered for expensive gifts that I am then expected to buy something from. I was also expected to chip in money to buy either food, decorations, cakes, are a mix of all 3. All 3 of those friends have moved to the USA after marriage. However, I am getting married this summer. I dont want to have a bridal shower, I just want to invite my friends to my house, I will provide dinner and drinks, I will tell them it's NOT a bridal shower and to not buy me any gifts as their presence would be the best gift. However, for those 3 friends who I have spent a fortune on for their weddings and showers, I want to sent them a invitation with information for a online registry to see the favour returned (as they probably won't be flying down for the shower). Is this mean? I am still so angry about how selfish these brides were and feel I deserve something from all 3 of them:(
11/27 21:29:00
I totally agree with everyone here! I dread being invited to wedding showers. It's the biggest waste of time and money...it's the most materialistic and greedy thing ever
11/27 21:58:03
I agree completely. My fiance wants me to go to one for his cousin I haven't met and hadn't even seen a picture of until the subject came up. We actually got into a bit of an argument over it. I'm not having one --and if I would--inviting her would never cross my mind. I hate the idea of registry, and I think it's tacky.
02/14 20:52:56
Wow, it is so refreshing to read everyone's comments. I feel that showers are an antiquated tradition. When showers originated, people married much younger and were leaving their parent's homes and needed everything. They didn't just upgrade the things that they have. I have been living on my own now for 6 years and have all the pots and pans that I need and I take pride knowing that I bought them myself. I am not opposed to heartfelt gifts that the sender thinks that you would like, but I do have a problem when people mandate a shower merely for upgrading. It seems selfish to me. Thank you all for your comments!
05/25 16:57:22
What is the difference between a bridal shower gift and a wedding gift? Although I life in America, I'm from a different culture, and we don't practice all these things. We just have a three-day wedding, in which only on gift is expected (gee, how utterly logical, right?). But I've been invited to some of my friend's bridal showers and, for the life of me, I still don't know what the heck the difference is between bridal and wedding gift. What are people supposed to bring for each? I am quite averse to all these wedding shenanigans myself and only go to showers of close friends, but in case I go again, I'd like to know what's appropriate. Thanks!
06/10 22:14:14
What I hate the most is that now instead of one shower, there are like 3 or 4. There's the engagement party, then the shower, then the "personal shower" and a bachelorette party! I mean...it's ENOUGH!!!! I can't afford it! I cringe when I get a wedding invitation in the mail. CRINGE.
06/16 11:12:00
Bridal showers used to be to help the girl get started on her own, but of course now she's been out and independent. Back then, the appropriate gift was small household items - dishtowels, wooden spoons, can openers, groceries. But now you have to
impress all those people watching, and give a shower gift that's
practically equivalent to the requisite wedding gift. My girls, bless them, had no showers. One had a 'girl's night out' just
before the wedding, with dinner, manicure and/or pedicure.
07/18 13:08:38
I'm getting married next year and m fiance's family really wants to throw me a bridal shower (my family does not). I don't mind a party with my girlfriends, but the gifts and dumb games are out of control. The best shower I went to: lots of alcohol, great food, only about 10 guests close to the bride, no "games," and simple gifts. Worst? About 100 people, didn't even speak to the bride, and the gift opening went on for HOURS. The bride didn't even KNOW all the guests!! Totally ridiculous. I was told that that's where the bride got all the things off the registry, and then got "envelopes" (full of cash, no doubt) at the wedding. I'd rather spend time with my friends and family then waste time opening gifts from people I barely know. Lame!
08/03 16:42:21
I'm getting married next year and m fiance's family really wants to throw me a bridal shower (my family does not). I don't mind a party with my girlfriends, but the gifts and dumb games are out of control. The best shower I went to: lots of alcohol, great food, only about 10 guests close to the bride, no "games," and simple gifts. Worst? About 100 people, didn't even speak to the bride, and the gift opening went on for HOURS. The bride didn't even KNOW all the guests!! Totally ridiculous. I was told that that's where the bride got all the things off the registry, and then got "envelopes" (full of cash, no doubt) at the wedding. I'd rather spend time with my friends and family then waste time opening gifts from people I barely know. Lame!
08/03 16:51:54
Ewwww I am NOT doing this. I'm getting married in a year and change, and by that time I'll have graduated from law school and and the Mister and I will have lived together for almost 4 years. Soo I think we have set up our house just fine, esp since he is a chef and we have all the damn kitchen gadgets I can trip over!

According to wikipedia, the shower "socializes women into the hyper-feminized traditional wife role," with its emphasis on the future role of the bride-to-be as family cook, homemaker, and sexual partner." Maybe it's just how I was raised, but I can't ever see how one of these tacky deals is not gift grubbing!
08/16 00:17:06
I got invited to a "display" shower.The invitation says " Don't wrap the gift, we will just display it with a label that says who brought it. " Yuck. This is not an improvement.
10/04 13:04:44
I am having a bridal shower nextweekend and am soooooooooooo looking forward to it!! lol, we actually really do need alot of things for our new house. We are both 21 and pretty much starting out with nothing. The shower gifts and the wedding gifts will be the same thing. We are not expecting a gift for each, we're really not expecting anything. If we get what we registered for then great but if not then thats cool too, i'm just excited to spend time with my friends and family before my fiance and i move down to texas to set up house :) Although at the moment i am hating anything to dow ith weddings because i cant figure out a shower favor that i just love and its frustrating the crap out of me!! ahhhhhhhhhhhh!
01/03 00:42:15
I am being forced to attend one this Saturday that has over 100 people invited. YES, ONE HUNDREDDDD PEOPLE!!! If you do the math, that means the shower will last about 4 hours or more. HELL. ON. EARTH.

On PLAYOFF Saturday none the less!! I just want to scream.
01/13 15:16:55
Ugh - my fiancee's maid of honour is insisting on throwing a bridal shower, but my fiancee really doesn't want one. We don't need the gifts, the money, or anything else that a "traditional" shower brings.

Ugh, what a fantastic waste of time, money, and patience. What really bothers me is that we were hoping that people would actually appreciate that we'd rather see them at an informal BBQ or party because we love them and consider them our closest friends. Instead, we're feeling the backlash of not doing things the "traditional" way. What a mess!
02/22 14:00:21
Showers are way out of hand!! My cousin married a woman who I kid you not was "given" 8 bridal showers, and she bragged about it!! When did she be the bigger person to say, enough is enough do not throw me another shower. I had to help host one and it is not easy and expensive and all for what? So she can rake in triplicate gifts off of her 'registry' and we can watch her open each one after playing a game. Give me a break! They are no longer married and she obviously got everything in the divorce. I wish this madness would stop, stop blantantly asking for money and gifts and stop making people feel horrible for not wanting to have showers or attend showers.
03/05 13:19:01
I was just invited to a wedding shower for someone I have never even met but is marrying a distant in-law family member! Her registry includes $1000 sheets, $50 towels, $300 dinner plates, Waterford crystal, etc, etc! The couple own a home in a lower middle class community so they are far from wealthy society figures but seem to need the excess! I am embarrassed by their apparent need for poor taste and insulted by the concept of them begging for these high priced wares! Needless to say I declined the invitation and probably will send a gift with no designer label. What a mess!
05/14 12:44:32
I'm so glad I found this site. I'm 29, single and have been through too many bridal showers, bachelorette parties,and weddings in my day. I feel that showers were originally had so that the "young bride and groom" could have things for their new house/apartment after they got married. These days, people who are well established and have been living on their own for years before marriage are actually registering for stupid things like a toaster, towels and bed sheets. Um... don't you already have this?

I also don't understand how I purchase my own house on my own and have to buy all of my things for my house just because I haven't happened to fall in love. It's like society praises people who fall in love, and us single people need to pay for our own things. It doesn't make any sense to me at all.

Also, who wants to go to an afternoon party watching the bride open up gifts she already knows she's getting from the registry while playing stupid games? UGH.

If and when I get married, I'm not having a shower and I'm going to inform my guests of my wedding that if you want to give a gift for the wedding, you can give a monetary donation to a charity.
06/22 22:00:36
I'm seconding the Brit poster above who said we don't have them! And please keep it that way!! Honestly, greed really does seem to know no bounds in America! These crazy traditions were just fine when a bride married at 18, straight out of her parents home and had NOTHING at all to start her married life! But how many women fit in that category these days?

I can't stand those couples who have to have:

1. The engagement party
2. A bridal shower
3. Hen night/Bachelorette - excuse me, entire blooming weekend away somewhere!
4. Finally, the darn wedding!

Just how much money is everyone supposed to spend on all of this? Can't people be happy for anyone without spending an entire month's salary to prove it anymore? Brides really need to get over themselves - all this 'go for it, you only do it once' stuff just translates to, 'I am a walking L'Oreal advert...I'm just worth it!' Excuse me while I throw up...
07/05 14:42:14
I think all you people who hate these showers are petty, immature, selfish, and and jealous of someone else's happiness. I am 49 and FINALLY getting married. I am single and no kids. Do you know how many lame ass fucking weddings, baby showers, bridal showers, engagement parties, etc I have been forced to attend in my lifetime? And all the money I've dished out as a single, working, struggling professional woman? Not to mention all the lame ass kids' gifts which never are ending as these brides keeping popping out the offspring like a fucking vending machine! how much money at Christmas time for all these kids I could care a less about and don't even know me? Thousands and thousands of dollars that's what I've paid. I think it's time for some of these people to give me some gifts. I have no one paying for my wedding but me. I am paying and cooking for my own bridal shower that me and my maid of honor are throwing because 2 of the the bridesmaids dropped out. I am paying and cooking for my own rehearsal dinner because the groom's dad was too cheap to pay for it. So, all you petty, jealous, back-stabbing bitches shut the helll up and get a fucking life. One day it just might be you that some wonderful man pops the question to and you are going to be sorry you weren't a little more gracious and supportive of your friend.
08/07 17:05:29
I just came from a 3 hour wedding shower. Including the shopping and driving that's 4 hours of my life I'll never get back! The couple are lovely and I really like them but I hate having to give up my precious weekend time to sit in a garage with 100 women whom I know approximately 1/4 of, playing dumb games and eating junk.
08/08 17:15:38
Hi. I am almost (gag) 30 and all my girl and guy friends in my close circle of 10 friends have all gotten married within the past 3 years. Do the math. Thats a lot of showers, bach parties, weddings, rehearsal dinners... Now its on to babies! Baby showers.
I was the only one of my friends to have her own place. not to mention the many job promotions I have received. Yet, because it is not a wedding or a baby, i dont receive an ounce of "let's celebrate this."
Am I mistaken, but shouldnt we be celebrating something with a higher success rate than 50%
08/08 22:18:55
I just came from a shower & was so infuriated, I
searched for "I hate bridal showers". What a breath of fresh air to find this site!
I hate the games, esp TP bride.
I hate the snootiness- $100+ gifts, really?
I hate the sexism- men don't have to sit through this crap.
I HATE the bows- I broke two, so I'll have two perfect kids, a boy and a girl- perfect family! Yeah? What if you're infertile?
And most of all, for all the single women, especially I'd you're dating, I HATE the "You might be next!!!". As if I'm going to jump with glee and squeal, "I can't wait for my diamond ring and shower and gifts and over the top wedding!!!!!"

Damn that felt good to vent.
09/12 20:11:21
I just came from a shower & was so infuriated, I
searched for "I hate bridal showers". What a breath of fresh air to find this site!
I hate the games, esp TP bride.
I hate the snootiness- $100+ gifts, really?
I hate the sexism- men don't have to sit through this crap.
I HATE the bows- I broke two, so I'll have two perfect kids, a boy and a girl- perfect family! Yeah? What if you're infertile?
And most of all, for all the single women, especially I'd you're dating, I HATE the "You might be next!!!". As if I'm going to jump with glee and squeal, "I can't wait for my diamond ring and shower and gifts and over the top wedding!!!!!"

Damn that felt good to vent.
09/12 20:13:25
I just came from a shower & was so infuriated, I
searched for "I hate bridal showers". What a breath of fresh air to find this site!
I hate the games, esp TP bride.
I hate the snootiness- $100+ gifts, really?
I hate the sexism- men don't have to sit through this crap.
I HATE the bows- I broke two, so I'll have two perfect kids, a boy and a girl- perfect family! Yeah? What if you're infertile?
And most of all, for all the single women, especially I'd you're dating, I HATE the "You might be next!!!". As if I'm going to jump with glee and squeal, "I can't wait for my diamond ring and shower and gifts and over the top wedding!!!!!"

Damn that felt good to vent.
09/12 20:15:21
I was searching for this topic and found this site. I am glad I am not alone because I absolutely HATE showers. Back in the day they were to make the woman ready for her life as a housewife and stay at home mom, but now with so many women having careers, why is this stereotype still accepted? I've been invited to showers for people I barely knew because I was a woman. My friends and relatives all know my views on this yet get upset because I never attend them (I send gifts). If I ever get married I want a coed barbeque type of party if I must have a shower, but would actually leave if someone planned a traditional shower. I have a friend who actually walked out of hers.
01/10 19:40:45
What genius decided that it's women, who make less money than men, are the ones who gotta do all this shower BS. And then we wonder why women stay poor. They don't even offer alcohol to help people actually have FUN hanging out in a room full of strangers. And now some friends have started doing things like getting married out of state on top of mountains and expect me to have the $$ not only to buy then something but join them there. I'm especially not going to showers where it's just some stranger chick marrying into my family anymore. I went to one last year hoping "hey maybe at least I'll see my cousin". Yeah right.
03/16 16:59:30
What genius decided that it's women, who make less money than men, are the ones who gotta do all this shower BS. And then we wonder why women stay poor. They don't even offer alcohol to help us actually have FUN hanging out in a room full of strangers. And now some friends have started doing things like getting married out of state on top of mountains and expect me to have the $$ not only to buy them something but join them there. I'm especially not going to showers where it's just some stranger chick marrying into my family anymore. I went to one last year hoping "hey maybe at least I'll get to see my cousin". Yeah right.
03/16 17:12:45
I'm so glad I found this site. I thought it was just me! I don't like showers or weddings. I'm having a destination wedding with about 20 people and am still considering eloping with all the nonsense people expect from me. My aunt has been trying to get me to register because she knows of people that want to buy me gifts...people that aren't invited to the wedding. That's very nice of them but I don't want or need their gifts. I've been living with my fiance for 5 years. I'm 34. I have all the towels I need.

She was also trying to talk me into a bridal "luncheon" because she knew I didn't want a shower. Whatever you call it, I don't want to be at anything that requires me 1) to be the center of attention and 2) entertain people I never speak to. I recently dodged that bullet by saying it was inappropriate to invite people that weren't invited to the wedding and it just made me uncomfortable.

I have a shower invitation I have to decline. I like the bride but I can't bring myself to do it!
03/26 10:24:31
I was just at a wedding shower a week ago. They had everyone make a speach! I barely knew the soon to be bride. Plus, they hired a camera guy to video tape all of these speeches! What killes me is that the bride was married once before. She had over ten bridemaids and was registered at 3 different places. Yuk!
04/01 17:43:23
JUST SAY "NO" AND STAY HOME. Seriously, don't go. I've been invited to a wedding show and I hate men and marriage. What am I supposed to say at this dumb event? Get out, now! That would kill it for the bride. I'm staying home.
05/16 14:30:18
PLEASE SOMEONE CREATE A FB "LIKE" link for this!! I'm currently Googling "Excuses for a bride to not attend her own shower" bc I'm getting married in a few months, and I HATE showers!! How can I tell my friend who has already sent invites out that I don't want to sit through this game playing/gift opening torture, let alone make my friends sit through it?
07/22 20:39:38
The thing I hate the most is when a bride puts mostly expensive items on her registry that she herself would never spend the money on! The bride holds a cheap wedding and expects you to spend, spend, spend like its nothing....UGH!!
07/28 05:48:42
I also agree, wedding showers seem like a little too much. How much more of a production do we need to make out of a wedding. What I hate is, if you haven't found love yet and you are in your 30s...when do your friends get together to celebrate something in your life? There aren't any "showers" for single ladies- we deserve some gifts too!
02/13 16:59:55
I think it is crude to rent a Hall for these which is so so common these days. Many years ago, it was a small shower, someone close to the bride, but never a parent, and throwing it in their home! Much more personal and comfortable for all.
04/08 23:57:30
I just googled "good excuse to get out of a bridal shower" and was taken to this site ...LOLLLL HILARIOUS

I was invited to my boyfriend's future sis-in law bridal shower. I don't like her...she is kind of a square and BORING!

I have no intention on going, but wouldn't mind a really GOOD believable excuse lol
04/18 19:16:31
I am so happy to just be able to read this, it's at least makes me feel like I'm not a totally tacky bitch.

When I got married I refused to let anyone throw me a shower. They're sexist, plain and simple.

When my friend had a baby shower the best thing ever was invented that made me feel better about going. The Diaper Party, where the med get together somewhere else and they all have to bring a certain brand and size of diaper and then the couple is stocked for a long time of diapers. The men are happy cause they don't have to sit through all the girly stuff, and they get to drink their beer and have a good time and they STILL have to buy something for the couple, not just the women!

For the wedding shower they invented the "Jack and Jill", and I am very happy about this. Normally I will attend a shower and just say nothing. But I'm a bridesmaid now and I am apparently obligated to attend 2 showers, including the one we throw as bridesmaids. The attendance isn't the biggest deal, as long as I'm not expected to buy a gift for every one, because I'm not going to so I hope she doesn't think that's lame.

It's more so the other night when I brought up that we would of course, as bridesmaids, be throwing her one as well. When I mentioned the Jack and Jill shower she replied "no, no I don't want that... guys don't want to go to that". (WHAAAAATT!), did I know this girl at all before now? wtf is that bull. I am faced with a really hard situation for myself because I feel really strongly about this and I am expected to just be a good little bridesmaid and go along with it so I don't ruin her special day (days!).
05/13 22:32:59
I am so happy to just be able to read this, it's at least makes me feel like I'm not a totally tacky bitch.

When I got married I refused to let anyone throw me a shower. They're sexist, plain and simple.

When my friend had a baby shower the best thing ever was invented that made me feel better about going. The Diaper Party, where the med get together somewhere else and they all have to bring a certain brand and size of diaper and then the couple is stocked for a long time of diapers. The men are happy cause they don't have to sit through all the girly stuff, and they get to drink their beer and have a good time and they STILL have to buy something for the couple, not just the women!

For the wedding shower they invented the "Jack and Jill", and I am very happy about this. Normally I will attend a shower and just say nothing. But I'm a bridesmaid now and I am apparently obligated to attend 2 showers, including the one we throw as bridesmaids. The attendance isn't the biggest deal, as long as I'm not expected to buy a gift for every one, because I'm not going to so I hope she doesn't think that's lame.

It's more so the other night when I brought up that we would of course, as bridesmaids, be throwing her one as well. When I mentioned the Jack and Jill shower she replied "no, no I don't want that... guys don't want to go to that". (WHAAAAATT!), did I know this girl at all before now? wtf is that bull. I am faced with a really hard situation for myself because I feel really strongly about this and I am expected to just be a good little bridesmaid and go along with it so I don't ruin her special day (days!).
05/13 22:34:34
Friend who's getting married had a recent bout with (unconscious, I think) selfishness, heralded in part by the expectation of going to paid events for the shower. I do not pay to be able to give someone a gift, so while I may not decline, I will absolutely cut my involvement down somewhat.

While she's hardly the first person or the most extreme, where do we get off thinking ever, EVER, that it's everyone's job to "serve" us? I won't provide more detail, but I will say that bride's maids often get treated like crap. Multiple showers to attend and host (even HOSTING a shower doesn't absolve you from blame if you didn't "do enough" for the other shower), bride's maids dress to buy, harrowing hours of pictures to put up with...IT NEVER ENDS. And if you balk at any of it, you--yes, YOU, not the bride--are the selfish one).

Coming from the faith that I do, I also believe we are here to serve others. To minister, not to be ministered unto. If you change your attitude about serving the week, month, or year before your wedding, and instead expect everyone to kowtow to you because of stupid traditions and the uber commercialization of weddings, you're giving Christianity a bad rap. It's time to get over yourself. It's time to start questioning why we expect all these things WITHOUT QUESTION. It's time to ask whether--even if 20 people are desperate to do your every command--that's the best use of everyone's resources. (What about clean water in Africa?) And, for the love of Pete, it's time to start realizing that being serious about marriage does NOT mean having a wedding (or, Oh save us! The one or two or five showers) that is over the top.
05/19 15:58:36
I hate weddings and showers these days. Especially the dual career couples who make more money than I ever will.

I was taught showers are for HELPING to get started in life. That is not the case with most couples these days who have careers well on the way and usually have lived together ...they're already set up.

So that leaves greedy, entitled brats expecting gifts - shower gifts, and wedding gifts.

Showers should be a thing of the past except when a couple is truly in need of help. Otherwise, maybe it should just be a party to celebrate the engagement. GIFTS ARE OUT OF CONTROL these days.

While we're complaining - how about these over-the-top birthday parties EVERY year. Oh ... I see now how they grow into entitled couples.
05/23 12:23:34
I hate showers and weddings...HATE. If I'm invited to a wedding, OK, fine. Nice gift fro a registry. But, TWO? What the heck? I eloped and paid for my own stuff 30 years ago. I still have too much crap. The "good" dishes I bought get used now, but only after I'd had them for a long time. Really, how much stuff does the happy couple need from half strangers? I decline shower invites unless they are close relatives and/or friends. I'm so happy I'm not alone.
06/28 18:45:06
The showers should be banned for all the reasons listed above. I never wanted one when I got married or pregnant (had both) -- they were (un) pleasant surprises. I didn't know most of the people, my husband didn't HAVE TO stick around because it was his "job" to get me to the event for the surprise. I have refused to go to any of them either nieces, nephews, friend or even my own children who are married and now expecting. People seem shocked that I have no interest in such things and cannot bring myself to sit around and make small talk with a group of people I rarely see, play stupid games and pretend to have fun and be be mioserabe for a few hours. My daughter is a treasure and understands, the rest of the family ,.,. not really. I'll contribute money and a gift for the "event" but stay far far away.
06/29 16:49:50
I am a bride who is adamantly against showers. I hated them as a single person and my mind hasn't changed even though I'm told, "It's finally my turn." I am trying my best to politely avoid bridal showers, engagement parties of any kind without causing any rifts with future in laws. They are being extremely persistent. I have written a very polite email to future sister-in-law outlining my discomfort with shower idea and the very day that I get her response of being cool with it all, I get another message from future mother-in-law asking about a couples' shower. Argh!
07/10 01:49:09
I don't know why the yanks have to have all of these grostesque "showers". Even worse is the batchlorette party which call me old-fashioned but promotes immoral sexuality. I would NEVER have sex ESPECIALLY with any public recognition. As for asking for video games and that sort of tosh that's certinous! Almost always these women are loons and are just being like everybody else, a staple of lovely america's "Diverse" society.
07/28 20:30:37
I was married a little less than a year ago and because our respective families lived 150 miles apart, I had two showers.

I am beyond flattered that our families worked so hard to give us showers.
However, I detest what most brides are doing to their families and friends nowadays.

Do you REALLY need that $65 mixing bowl set?!?
I think not.

Do you REALLY need to subject people to at least an hour of gift-opening?
Hardly.

Is this shower more about your greed than anything?
Apparently. The $600 couch you registered for is beyond ridiculous.

Like I said, I adore the fact that we are so loved that people wanted to throw us showers. But I REFUSE to go to showers (of any kind!) where immaturity, greed and vanity are at the heart of the whole thing.

I feel better. Thanks for letting me vent!
08/31 01:29:41

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