Second Wedding Tips

Here are some ground rules for people who are marrying someone who has been married before.

The Wedding Belongs To Whoever Got Married The Least

If this is your second wedding and your partner's first wedding, be sensitive to your partner's needs.

Whoever has been married the least gets final say.

Remember this is your second wedding. You want this to be their ONLY wedding.

The First Timer Gets More Guests
Whoever is getting married for the first time gets to invite more guests.

The Divorced Person’s Side Is Going To Be Cheap

You give a wedding gift to help a couple get started in their new life. Well your friends and family did that once already. It didn’t work out too well.

Very bitter guests like me may think whatever gift they gave at the first wedding counts for the second one.

Guests from the divorced person’s side will at best pay their plate.

The Bride’s Father Still Has To Pay

The bride’s father has to pay for the wedding. Even if he paid for the first one, the bride’s father should pay for this wedding and he should pay for subsequent weddings as well.

To the father of the bride: The groom is doing you a favor taking your soiled daughter off your hands. Just because she’s wearing a white dress again doesn’t mean she SHOULD be wearing a white dress.

Fathers of divorced women should pay a higher dowry. If someone else has milked the goat, you better throw in a chicken.

No Need To Invite Distant Relatives

There is no need to invite the distant relatives you only see once every ten years from the divorcee’s side of the family.

When you eventually see those cousins at a funeral in five years, just tell them your new husband is your first husband and that they screwed up the name.

Don’t Remind Them They Did This Before

Use the following phrases sparingly:

“But you’ve been married before honey.”

“Maybe this is why your ex left you.”

Don’t Invite The Ex
I don’t care if she is the mother of his children. I don’t care if she is like your sister. Don’t invite his ex-wife or her ex-husband.

The last thing you need to hear is people mumbling “Wow, I liked him better.” Or “They had a much better wedding the first time.”

Don’t Put Too Much Pressure On Yourself
Hey as your fiancé has proven, marriage isn’t forever. If you don’t get it right on this shot, you’ll get ‘em next time slugger.

[Mail to a friend]

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